Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Law of Karma , compiled

From Tantrik :

  • Identification of an action ( Mental , emotional , Physical ) bounds you to the Karma.

  • Karma has an enormous momentum. The thought patterns, the emotional patterns, the reactive patterns.

  • Every time you identify with a thought that arises, which is form, you are born into that thought. Your identity, your sense of self is in it. That’s karma. Your karma is the unconscious identification with these patterns that you have inherited – the conditioned. It is complete identification of consciousness with the conditioned patterns.

  • Karma is the complete absence of conscious Presence. It is automatic.

  • In the light of awareness, the patterns no longer dominate your life.
  • As Presence arises, you are freed from karma.
  • There is ultimately really only one teacher, the awakened Consciousness is the teacher.

  • Whatever emotion I cause another to experience must ultimately become my own experience.
  • Whoever or whatever is compelling me or repelling me and whatever I am experiencing – is the consequence of my own prior thoughts, decisions and actions. Understanding the Law of Karma gives deep significance to concepts such as responsibility and justice.

  • The Law of Karma begins to work to my advantage when I stop habitual actions that are harmful, take responsibility to positively address the consequences of any such actions performed in the past, and pay attention to performing positive actions from this moment forward.

  • Karma means action, means "to do".It is dynamic.

  • Newton who formulated the law which states that every action must have an equal and opposite reaction. In the moral sphere of conscious actions, we have a counterpart to the physical law of action and reaction, the law that every intentional, will action must have its effect.

  • Desire is a tremendous force, and must be directed in the right channels, or chaos ensues.

  • Acknowledging your karmic source is the first step towards breaking free of unwanted life patterns.

  • The single greatest way to resolve past karma is to forgive those who have hurt you and seek a final note of closure. To forgive is to detach, but you must remember to forgive yourself as well.

Random thought

  • Distinction of events by good and bad in a way shows the lack of understanding of the law Karma.
  • Trying to see the possible meaning of the bad side of so-called good event and good side of so-called bad events ; might give us the glimpse of the overall picture of the event.
  • Karma like any other formless object can’t be seen or felt. However Karma manifest in us by our habits. Set of patterns will reflect it. Like everyone has their Karma , one will have his/her own patterns of manifestation.
  • When a painful events passes by , one can say that this ‘might’ be the past deeds which is manifesting. By being aware of the event and oneself one can Stop it. And not let it continue further. Absorbing pain , taking responsibility , Watchfulness.
  • The tamsik behaviour of our habit and pattern can be viewed as a Karmic pattern we carry with ourselves.
  • Attention can’t suffer. Only I suffers.

Raviji  : Preparation of death. To die Daily. To die to our Habits.

Law of Karma and Forgiveness in order to wash away your sins.

  • As we sow so shall we reap.

  • Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

  • An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

  • “Evil will return on your own head” Samuel 25.39.

  • “If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.”

  • “If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.”

  • Usually we consider time to be a straight line. But actually, there are no straight lines in nature. The horizon looks like a straight line, but on a higher scale it turns out to be a circle. These recurring events don’t look the same from the outside, because the places and people are always changing, but the Inner Meaning of these events can be just the same. And usually they are, because our psycho/emotional make up doesn’t change much over time.
  • Evolution is derived from Karmic Revolution.
  • Everything happens. ( Fair enough , no one have enough will to DO. So let the nature manifest and let my Karmic pattern rule me. )

  1. Usual emotions which comes up , we react to it and as a chain process it goes on and on. This leads to create new Karma all the time. We live here.
  2. Second level is that when we divert our attention , when we see emotions arising. Not to suppress them , but to direct our attention to do something else. Drinking water , some activity involving with intellectual , solving sudoku etc. Intelligent people somehow figure it out to channelize this material.

  1. Third level is where we separate the emotion with the object. We encounter the emotion alone. Say if i see myself getting angry with Rakesh. I focus my attention on the Anger , rather than Rakesh. I BE with the anger either by watching the thought pattern or sensing the body and see the rise in temperature.
  2. The fourth level is when we separate the emotion and the object. Then once this is done we ask ourselves ; who is experiencing the emotion.

  • Every thought, every action that we have and make sets into motion a cause. These causes have their effects. These effects make our lives, for good or ill. We are now, have been, and will go on, making our lives from moment to moment.

  • As we serve, we demonstrate love. As we demonstrate love, by law, we get love. That strengthens and potentizes the individual in a way in which he can deal with his own karma.

Friday, May 9, 2014

5 things to watch

G.I.Gurdjieff :

Observer concurrently five manners of behavior : tone of voice , posture , gesture , movements and facial expression. Why are these five isolated and exclusively dealt with. We are aware of the reception of the impression of others by deduction from the five manners of behavior. We imagine we can report about ourselves what we are feeling and thinking - that we have some intuition or clairvoyance which enables us to know and report our own thoughts and emotions clearly.

Non expression of negative emotion.

As this is a preparation step for Second conscious shock ; Non expression of negative emotion.

From the book : ' Meeting with Louise Welch in Toronto'.

What is negativity ? Force wrongly used. If this forced should be turned to me , I could use it. "Should" and "should not" have nothing to do with it. I need to know myself in any manifestation. It would make all difference in the world.
You asked me about the difference between "suppression" and "non expressing negative emotion" . The term suppression ( or "repression" ) comes from psychoanalysis. Its meaning there, as I understand it , is that buried in the unconscious are certain forces that may blow up. In our self study , we know that if we smile at a someone with whom we are angry, we will take the anger out on someone else. Something is not digested, but suppressed.
"Non-expression" ,as used in the Work, means deliberately refraining from outward expression -- to the degree we can -- honestly seeing the emotion and trying to understand it. For the sake of myself, not others, I try to study how this expression is in me.
In the Work we agree to try to take off our masks, at least here. We take this risk. Just blowing up is a waste of energy, but still more honest then pretense. Violence has to be understood.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Habits list

This week will make a list of all the habits i see in me.


1) Every time i find myself day dreaming , part of my body is tensed. Specially my facial muscles.
2) Not aware of the posture and not sensitive enough to be in the position which is less energy consuming.


1) Things which i 'like' football and surya namaskar , i am always afraid that because of my knee i should be able to play football weekly and do surya namaskar every day.
2) To give into the passing emotions easily.
3) Always rely on the past emotional trajectory and afraid to invite the new emotions.


1) To always think the worst that can happen for the situation i am in.
2) To get into the discussion which is imaginative and time and energy consuming. Behaving without intelligent. 


The act of recognition of two state in me :

When dealing with lower emotions , it uplifts my bring.
When dealing with higher emotions , it downs my being.

Use to blame people earlier for my not guilty sake ...
Then realized its me .
Then started blaming the forces passing by 
Now I see that its the law ; forces are just following the law. And the law just by the law is in perfect harmony .
So what is really happening here ??

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Four exercises

William explaining  :

In the Uttara Tantra, Maitreya teaches Avagosha the ultimate nature of the mind and shares teachings that are meant to clarify all the questions regarding what it is. Avagosha chanted for 12 years to evolve his consciousness to the point where Maitreya could manifest in front of him, dialogue with him and clarify every question he had about this. Inside the discourse are "4 steps to freedom" which are not hard to do. They are also implied in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras and in many teachings. Sometimes they are very clear and sometimes they are less clear.

The four steps are (1) place attention on any object and hold it there. Practice this step until you can concentrate your mind on the object and not wander for five minutes. If you are honest, you will notice how much the thinking mind wanders and find that you have lose your attention often. But with a little practice you will be able to steady the mind on the object with only minor subtle wanderings of attention. Patanjali calls the fulfillment of this exercise a minor liberation. You gain a little freedom when you are able to freely concentrate the mind this way and are able to move outside of lock step with stimulus activating mental conditioning causing a reaction.

(2) With mind steady on the object, then "noticing the noticing". You are aware of the object, now be aware that you are aware. Keep up this noticing the noticing until you can do this for 9 minutes. This is actually a very deep exercise that one can benefit from a lot. It will actually rechemicalize the brain in a positive way and even activate the "time body" where you will be able to see the future. Patanjali mentions a number of siddhis or powers that come from this exercise. He also advises one to not give too much attention to these powers, because it is more important than we enter the "sanity" of enlightenment. Otherwise we will insanely amplify our karma and cause ourselves more suffering.

(3) Shuttle between subject and object, feel like you are touching the object you have chosen and feel the subject you have chosen. If you are using the modality of seeing, it will produce a special sensation in the eyes. If you are listening to music, you will feel a special sensation in the ears. As you are shuttling back and forth, feel what you are moving across. Notice what is not subject or object. This is the "third place". Again do this until you can do it well for about five minutes.

(4) The last step is "dropping subject and object and abiding in awareness as awareness". In Buddhist terms, you realize there is "no self", no subject. It is shifting from "I am aware" to "I am awareness". There is no observer behind the seeing, there is just the seeing. You rest in the seeing by simply being the seeing. This is your natural mind. There are a number of deeper shifts beyond this, but they all depend on this natural abiding.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Monday, March 3, 2014

Yearly task 2014

Time for making a list of exercises i will be taking for the year.

Point wise lists are :
  • Learn Piano.
  • Work with the body.Means will do exercise around Surya Namaskar , Sensation related exercise,Walking meditation and other related with enhancing the physical sensation. To develop the Organic sensation of the physical body.
  • Reading Christian Material. To improvise the Bible knowledge and stories.
  • Work on Divided attention , with keep the sensation as a central point. Two centered exercises in daily life.
  • A.R. Orage books exercise for intellect.
  • To be aware of the quality of attention i have at the moment.
  • Pick exercise from Shiv Sutra , Shiv Sanhita , Shiv Purana.
  • Learn Piano.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Exercise I AM

Task for the week : 

To seek and utter these words aloud or inside , "I AM". To see what happens inside , to see what sensations i am having at the moment and where. To see my current stat. To collect more data. Desire to know who am i ?.

Exercise came from the book.

Reading from 'Life is Only Real When "I AM"'

This is necessary chiefly in order that the consciousness forming in oneself during an active state should continue also during a passive state.

For the correct understanding of the significance of this first assisting exercise, it is first of all necessary to know that when a normal man, that is, a man who already has his real I, his will, and all the other properties of a real man, pronounces aloud or to himself the words "I am," then there always proceeds in him, in his, as it is called, "solar plexus," a so to say "reverberation," that is, something like a vibration, a feeling, or something of the sort.

This kind of reverberation can proceed also in other parts of his body in general, but only on the condition that, when pronouncing these words, his attention is intentionally concentrated on them.

If the ordinary man, not having as yet in himself data for the natural reverberation but knowing of the existence of this fact, will, with conscious striving for the formation in himself of the genuine data which should be in the common presence of a real man, correctly and frequently pronounce these same and for him as yet empty words, and will imagine that this same reverberation proceeds in him, he may thereby ultimately through frequent repetition gradually acquire in himself a so to say theoretical "beginning" for the possibility of a real practical forming in himself of these data.

He who is exercising himself with this must at the beginning, when pronouncing the words "I am," imagine that this same reverberation is already proceeding in his solar plexus.
Here, by the way, it is curious to notice that as a result of the intentional concentration of this reverberation on any part of his body, a man can stop any disharmony which has arisen in this said part of the body, that is to say, he can for example cure his headache by concentrating the reverberation on that part of the head where he has the sensation of pain.

At the beginning it is necessary to pronounce the words "I am" very often and to try always not to forget to have the said reverberation in one's solar plexus.

Without this even if only imagined experiencing of the reverberation, the pronouncing aloud or to oneself of the words "I am" will have no significance at all.

The result of the pronouncing of them without this reverberation will be the same as that which is obtained from the automatic associative mentation of man, namely, an increase of that in the atmosphere of our planet from our perception of which, and from its blending with our second food, there arises in us an irresistible urge to destroy the various tempos of our ordinary life somehow established through centuries.

This second exercise, as I have already said, is only preparatory; and when you have acquired the knack, as it were, of experiencing this process imagined in yourself, only then will I give you further definite real indications for the actualization in yourself of real results.

First of all, concentrate the greater part of your attention on the words themselves, "I am," and the lesser part concentrate on the solar plexus, and the reverberation should gradually proceed of itself.

At first it is necessary to acquire only, so to say, the "taste" of these impulses which you have not as yet in you, and which for the present you may designate merely by the words "I am," "I can," "I wish."

I am, I can, 
I am can. 

I am, 
I wish, 
I am wish.

In concluding my elucidations of this assisting exercise, I will once more repeat, but in another formulation, what I have already said.

If "I am," only then "I can"; if "I can," only then do I deserve and have the objective right to wish.

Without the ability to "can" there is no possibility of having anything; no, nor the right to it.

First we must assimilate these expressions as external designations of these impulses in order ultimately to have the impulses themselves.

If you several times experience merely the sensation of what I have just called the "taste" of these impulses sacred for man, you will then already be indeed fortunate, because you will then feel the reality of the possibility of sometime acquiring in your presence data for these real Divine impulses proper only to man.

And on these Divine impulses there is based for humanity the entire sense of everything existing in the Universe, beginning from the atom, and ending with everything existing as a whole—and, among other things, even your dollars.

Teachings of liberation with Radha Nicholson

Six days at Thirivannamalai with Radha Nicholson and Sandeep Baldota.

8th Dec 2013

Exercise = While inhalation and exhalation enlighten your Chitta , mindfulness in mind and emotions.

Perception --> Form --> Emotion --> Thought

Thought --> Form --> Desire

=> Movement of mind
1) Desire
2) Forming and perception , views and opinion
3) Identity , Compassion

* Very relaxed physically and emotionally. The schedule is not hectic so the physical body has nothing much to do.

9th Dec 2013

Mindfulness of Dharma

* Watching  the life force moving outside and inside. Wish is to see the inside wired pattern and not to get identify with it.
* If emotion comes let it come and if it goes let it goe. No clinging No resisting . Merely Watching.
* Contemplate impermanent nature of Nature -- breath in breath out.
* Breathing in - Contemplating fading away of desire.
 Breath out - Disenchantment of our habit / desire every moment. No Attachment.

* Breath in - Contemplating patience.
Breath out Contemplating patience.

=> When memory surface , let it come as sensation , emotion , watch it.

* Breath in - Contemplating relinquishment [ let go ]
Breath out - Contemplating relinquishment [ let go ].

=> To remain with the sensation passing by. Can i see the manifestation and know thy impermanent nature ?

=>Child want , Adults wants to Be.

Ignore wants , Wisdom See's

* Process of binding the thought with 'I' , liberates.

10th Dec 2013

* See inside the process which is happening , be a witness to yourself. Every moment ; fluctuation of attention ; movement of emotions.

=>To experience Freedom , joy , surrender in our daily life. Mindfulness with freedom.

=> Inquiry question in meditation , to deepen in the body.

=> Posting the question in the heart and wait.


This which is an emotional state. The body is relaxed and active. No small I clinging. If it comes subside easily.But there is small intelligence who wants to just BE.

-> No clinging and accepting things as they are ; Being with the Deathless ness i.e. Freedom.

No passion to move No anxiety No desire. Accepting everything which falls onto it. Freedom.

-> Dependent arising unfold it self by the law; with out the self, Its our identification where we get involve into it. We have a chance of standing aways from the process by dis identification and see the organic way of things happening.

11th Dec 2013

-> See sense thing as they are. We add fantasy , false ideas , perception in the reality. We are not sincere.

Death less ness is 

Neither past nor future
Not clinging nor resisting
Nor desire nor undesire
Accepting everything as it is
is Freedom
Is Timeless ness.

12th Dec 2013

Mindfulness of the body - breathing : breath and body
Mind formation

Relaxed breath = Deep sensation = Practice equanimity.

* Lets make a queue in oneself where the decision can be made. Before we start with anything few I's will be called upon to enquiry. An then the decision will be made.

* In the fight between I-thought no one can win; the I higher the I thought can only become/bring Peace. Sense the  I thought.

Unobstructed knowing 


- Not taking a stand. No clinging

- Fear = Self getting a separate world. Small self ruling. Fear once download spread in three center and magnify.

- Thought of fear - comes as a thought - use REAL intelligent - it will go away or else it will  get downloaded.

# Moment when i have un-identified with my action

** Experience ; where I knew that it is happening through me and I am not the doer. Watching peacock. In sync with the universe, Love passing through me.

** Going  around Arunachala in 2.5 hours, 14 kms. I knew that the idea and the energy is not mine all His idea and execution.

** Few sharing I wish not to get identified,

OO Before action ; see the process ; who is doing ? What action is about to begin ? Who is the doer ? Surrender the fruit of action to Him and do it as it is a part of the big process you are in without getting identified.

Non identification is NOT saying I dont care ; I am lazy ; Careless
Non identification is Knwoing laws acting in oneself ; knows his place ; knows the Gunas working ; Surrounding to Him.

Mindfulness of Feeling [ वेदना ]

Five organ sense ( sensation ) -- Feeling corresponding -- Desire ( Clinging / Resisting )

BE with feeling.

There is suffering
Causes and condition which supports the Suffering. Understand the both law.

** If we see a thought which leads to unpleasant emotion then 
 --> Replace the thought with another thought
--> See the downside of the thought
--> Forget the thought.
--> Stilling the thought ( Mindfulness of breathing )
--> Use your mind to crush your mind
--> To see the impermanent nature around.

$$$ To BE with I thought ?

Love Compassion Joy Equanimity
Greed Hatred Delusion

Law of Impermanence.

* Actions are done by the body / ideas/ emotions ; I am None.

* Actions are a part of duty / service / unavoidable condition / Love / Gratitude / Fear / Desire. Where is the action coming from ?

* Everything almost everything in the physical world is driven by the three Guna's. Guna's play in me. They move and play with each other. Rest is the consequences. Can I see them in me ? The almighty Guna's. Guna moves up and down ; like the day and night ; like a season change by the law, This is a Cosmic play. Watch it.

I thought <--> Attention.
The identification is due to like/dislike. This like and dislike we carry as our baby. Watch the like/dislike and the process of getting identification.

Law is love
In order is Law
Choas in In order
Choas is Law.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Thought Emotion and Sensation

Quoting again and again the Philokalia : "Just as it is impossible for fire and water to pass through the same pipe together, so it is impossible for sin to  enter the heart without first knocking at its door in the form of a fantasy provoked by the devil."

It seems that the the same is true for Sensation as well. I have not experience this with Sensation , however i do have experience that it truly work for Emotion. So this is what i saw 'It comes as a thought , of some desire , be it wanting something or not wanting something.' If i did not chopped it away , it will take the silence as Yes and enter to emotional center. Emotions of that type and enter and create Havoc inside. Will do the exercise with Sensation as well and will try to see it this is true for Sensation as well. For example when i see a Ice cream which i like or a movie Trailer when i find exciting. Will double check if for sensation it works or not.

The above Philokalia quote says about the Sin. Here Sin can be either Emotions , Sensations or Fantasy. I have observed that it is true for the Emotions , now have to check for the sensation and then later check for the Fantasy / Day Dreaming as well.

For fun lets take the Seven Deadly sins here :

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.  [ Sensation ]

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation. [ Thought ]

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires. [ Sensation ]

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body. [ Sensation ]

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.  [ Emotion ]

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.  [ Thought ]

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. [ Emotion ] 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


Desire is to explore this area , to understand the materiality of Identification.

I first read this theory that : 'Karma is nothing but identification with one's action.' Was very shocked that the sole reason is just one identification. But then later when i saw my daily routine and the way i am attached to the passing thought , its a mess inside. I see that i identify myself with every small things  passing by.

I have decided to work in this area for some time.

The Question 'Who am i ?' is very interestingly linked with identification here. I identify myself as a body or the thought or emotions. As if if that moment i ask myself this question , i will fall under either the above category. Where as there are very few moment when I know that I am none of the above. In the light of attention i see this process of Me getting identified with either thought emotions and sensation.

Every moment if i can bring some amount of attention. Or if i try to connect with attention present in me at the moment and see the activity inside. Constantly Know that i am None of the above. Know that this attention in me is helping me to see this activity inside. Even this attention is not mine and it keep changing. Constantly to be in the space of not knowing but willing to Look inside.

I see that my center of gravity is in any one of the center. The knowledge and the corresponding intelligence is also limited to that center alone. This is a very Bad position to be in. Every time when i remember myself i wish to bring the other part of my body under the light of the attention present. This will in a way increase my area of perception and help me being more awareness in me. Bringing the other center also means that we are bringing the corresponding intelligent and experience into the light.  To do it again and again tirelessly is my Aim at the moment.

If i do it more often it will also help me see the process. It will help me stay away from one center and hence there will be less identification at center level. I believe the moment we bring another center into the picture the intensity of the identification also get diluted. More sample size is needed.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Law of Three acting in our centers

To understand the forces – What EXACTLY is an Affirming force? What EXACTLY is a Denying  force?

Trying to understand , how for one action or for one impulse , if we take the impulse as an affirming force then the 'others' act as a denying force. To see the process and know what is acting at what role and the exchange between them.

So if i catch myself being dwelling in emotions , and if emotions at that moment is affirming then what could be the corresponding denying force there ?

Will catch the flow of emotions , when they act as an affirming and then see how could i bring the denying force for them.


Tuesday 12 Nov 2013

I saw that if  affirming force is emotions then denying force could be the sensation or the thought. It depends the state of myself. Sensation was denying once.

I saw that when as per the schedule i had to do the practice of Piano my emotional center was not ready ( lazy maybe ? )  acting as a denying force. The argument were failed as if this vision or the reason why i started this Piano is not working. Physically i cant do anything here as trying sensing does not work. Seems that i have to use my Will power and just do the thing. No centers manifestation. Will manifesting through them.

Thursday 14 Nov 2013

The emotions when comes up , it act as a mud and sink the consciousness into it. If one have attention at the moment can divert the sinking attention to some part of the body or think the process happening inside. Body seems to be the only help here along with the knowledge we have accumulated.

If we can Try and see which Guna's are acting on us. It will be of great help. It seems that active is nothing but the vivifying quality of the material so is passive. The one who dominates ; becomes the active for that moment ; no matter who dominates. Sometime it might be the Urge for some physical please / sleep or thoughts / ego or an emotional impulse which pushes us to do something.  Whoever dominates we flow with that current. It could be physical emotional or intellectual. Seems that the Role of Three Guna's acts through the centers.

  •  If Rajas dominates in Physical center = Violent , Aggression. If Tamas dominates in Physical center = Dull , Laziness , Heaviness. If Sattva dominates in Physical center = Relaxation , Clam.
  • If Rajas dominates in Emotional center = Anger , Fear , Jealousy. If Tamas dominate the Emotional center = Disinterest , Boredom , Indifference. If Sattva dominates the Emotional center = Calmness , Non violence , Kindness.
  • If Rajas dominated in Intellectual center =  Comparison , Analysis. If Tamas dominates the Intellectual center =  Neglecting , Forgetting. If Sattva dominates the Intellectual center = Clarity , Confidence , Less unwanted thought.
Awesome the Architect !! 

Wednesday 27 Nov 2013

I see many layers in me. Layers which when activated , dominates me through and through. These layers for me are the set of 'I''s or the set of habits. The dominating habits are my emotional habits , emotional likes and dislikes. I am finding very hard to go against them. Have no clue most of the time of the originating of the liking and disliking of these emotional habits. But when they surface they don't give much space to the other centers to sneak in.

Also the role of attention or the self consciousness is very interesting here. It seems that the attention is the one who binds the centers. At times when there is a sensation which is dominating , at that moment invoking the other centers are solely done by the Grace of self remembering and attention to bring other centers in the light of attention present at the moment. It seems to me that the act of binding need to be iterated it again and again.

The role of attention and will is another topic where i would like to put some attention.

Attention and Will are both of dual nature. 'Dev Prasad' and 'Tapas Prabah' are the dependent factors for both of them.

Both are free from the centers acting , dominating.

Wish to explore more in the topic.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Emotion and Intellect Relationship

Struggling with the fact that the emotional stress i see inside me all the time. Very rare i am free of this , if free it give a different freedom.

Analyzing the pattern i saw that when i have no idea what is going to happen then , there is no fantasy or imagination to play with. That time when mind is paused for a moment , because of uncertainty ,there comes the great emotional surrender to the universe or the forces around.

But if we pick a daily routine task then i see that the task to be done are defined at the very beginning of the day. One knows what all has to be done today. Now since one knows what has to be done , there is a possible fantasy of excitement or things not happening the way one has thought. This fantasy leads to none other then Fear or Excitement   Also very interestingly fear / excitement cant manifest themselves , just like that. The emotions also want an object where they can manifest. SO imagination gives them the ground to manifest on. Without imagining one cant invite the emotions.

Was watching the movement of the emotions inside and what i saw is that the emotions emits in a form of an event. We can't express the happiness or sadness just like that. Its not the way usual emotions work. They usually coil themselves around any event actions.

Remind me of the Classic text  from Philokalia by St Hesychios the Priest :

"Just as it is impossible for fire and water to pass through the same pipe together, so it is impossible for sin to  enter the heart without first knocking at its door in the form of a fantasy provoked by the devil."

So the imagination which happens inside us 24x7 are nothing but a ground for emotion to run. Which ever space [ Imagination ] we feed with attention , when accumulated enough attention span ; downloads the corresponding emotions in us.

Originally from : http://pittsburghoratory.blogspot.in/2012/05/strike-serpent-on-head-philokalia-on.html

 I like how they have made the title as 'Strike the serpent on the head'. Brutal stuff !! Four stages how sin downloads inside us through the gate of our intellect.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Task for the week

  • Taste the mechanical force which urge me to fall , again and again. Against my will. What do they serve. 

  • See myself while speaking , how the emotions turn over and over whelming identification with whatever i say.

The other day i was sharing with Anuradha , Amit Mahalle and Sankalp that there is a kind of relaxation i see in me , which comes very randomly. The magnitude of this kind of relaxation is overwhelming. One needs to have this relaxation. ; i tag this as an emotional relaxation . Which i observed whenever i am going for some outdoor trip , where i have no clue , where i am going and what will be possible outcome / execution. On ordinary day  when i know,  what i am going to do today , in sequence. In this scenario i see that there is stress in my emotional channel. I don't know how to open up to this emotional channel which is blocked most of the time and opens sometimes , very randomly (?) .

Was watching the movement of the emotions inside and what i saw is that the emotions emits in a form of an event. We can express the happiness or sadness just like that. Its not the way usual emotions work. They usually coil themselves around any event actions.

Next six month tentative exercises

  1. To explore the mechanical side of me. To have a taste of the mechanicality in me. What is Askokin ?
  2. Get a taste of conscious action , to have a taste of the material which bring the denying part against my mechanical habit.
  3. Making a list of object / event for all my three centers ; object through which i identify myself.  Build a strength to watch it , the process.
  5. Tempering the volume.
  6. Speak without identification.
  7. To have a taste of Affirming [ Active ]  principle with respect to all my centers. What does it mean to be affirming from my thinking / emotional and physical center. Same for denying.
  8. What is Affirming force / Denying force  ? With respect to whom ? To the AIM they are Affirming / Denying or they are Affirming / Denying in general ?
  9. There is energy with Impulse ? If my Aim is not in the direction of that Impulse what can be done ? Bringing the other centers ?  If i have no impulse toward my Aim , how can i bring the Impulse to server my Aim ?

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Chemical process


Will is created when there is sufficient self conscious in oneself. then and then only one has some ability to do something.- Rick.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Work Period , September 2013 FireFlies Banglore

11 Sep 2013 Wednesday , Banglore

Question : Why , I am here ?

Amit H : To see myself more and more clearly. I see , with my past experience , with fear and self importance. How can i see this moment , without fear , without judgement , without self importance.

Raviji : Awareness is to be aware this moment , what it is.

Raviji : Seeing and awareness does not belong to my ordinary functions.

Raviji : The longer I stay , the longer I stay with my higher conscious.

Saint Paul :

I do what i do not wish to do.
I do not do , what i wish to do.

Raviji : Awareness of inner fragmentation , Desire to Be.

Terror of the situation.
The disease of tomorrow.
The power of Death.

Raviji : The daemon of forgetfulness is in which Shiva dances.

What is that ?

Exercise : To listen what comes out of my mouth and to sense my body. "I am attention."

Exercise : When remember to remember myself , see the forces moving around and every where and see my location / co ordinate / space in this event. "I am attention."

Raviji : Attention and Intention. Attention :  More and more connection with awareness. Intention gives more and more clear idea about my aim/goal.

12 Sep 2013 Thursday , Banglore

Exercise : Listen to a person , then the words.

Raviji : Arjuna saying to krishna , sometimes you say this , and sometimes you say that. Tell me one thing what to do.

Devil of the year : Laziness.

Raviji : In order to maintain the order , we have to participate in Yajya. My effort + Dev prasad ; My effort part is mine.

Raviji : Subtler realities need to be externalize.

Raviji : Agni have to called before we call the Higher. What is Agni ?

Is it a fire  , fire in the form of sacrifice , fire in the form of impartiality ?

Raviji : Suffer , to be with Suffering.

Raviji : How can i watch myself more and more impartial.Impartiality also have Grace.

Raviji : Everyone in the world have a unique way of celebrating the GOD : I Individuality.

Raviji : If i become against the EGO , one will never be free of Ego. Against the Ego is another EGO trick.


Good servant                                                                                          Bad master
Effort , Determination                                                                             Slavery , Greed
Force                                                                                                       Greed

Raviji : Individuality : Krishna seated on everyone's Swabhav ( Individuality )

Raviji ; True individuality is to intentionally  putting oneself under the law. Integration of mind-body-emotion.
Integration of all I's.
All asurik nature and devik nature.

Raviji ; Being closer the Sun then the earth ; true individuality.

Amit H : Lost the thread of exercise post lunch , felt as if something is left over my right ear. Movement and meditation was done in a state where one part is worried about what is that which is left inside my right ear and the other part is dedicatedly participating in the movement and meditation. Somehow I managed to do it. Later on tried hard to go inside my ear and remove what is left over. But it seems its my illusion ; but tonight will ask someone to look inside ; but tonight will ask someone to look inside once. Saket did checked it once and there was nothing inside.


Raviji ; Silence of the living not the silence of the dead.

Raviji ; Work a connection with the subtler energies repeatedly.

Raviji ; Exercise are mean to clear the channel inside the body.

Question to Raviji :- During the practise of the exercise "I am Conscious"; I keep watching my habit and then forces / energies passing through me. I usually try not to react to them and to see them coming and going. Once when i was middle of something and then i decided to use this energies and sense my body. I did it and it worked like a charm. But then along with EGO getting feeded , there was the element of fear that i should not use these kind of energy because one does not know what one is playing with.

Answer from Raviji :- Its good to do these experiment and see these events. These force are the manifestation of the lower forces and subtler energies working. Without the both the forces these manifestation are not mean to be.
But to know at the same time not to be identified with these experiment or to take them as a medal.
These may be time when you want see the sunlight or there is a earth quake so be careful.
This is not a destination , know the two forces in act.

13 Sep 2013 Friday , Banglore

Exercise : Can i be actively receptive ? What is required ? What is my part ?

Law of three Presentation

  • Three force acting everywhere.
  • Three gunas acting on everyone , no one to blame.
  • Okidanok : Sun absolute ; inside ; absolute
  • I govern by eating myself ; Trogoautoegocrat . Impression of myself - Food
  • Etrikrilno
  • Omnipresent Okidanokh  --- Djarklom  + - o
  • Sacred triamazikamno enters from three center.
  • Head -- Affirming
  • Spinal Column -- Holy affirming
  • No resemblance -- Reconciling
  • Split into parts in different part of physical body
  • Chest / Solar  plexes
  • Affirming - from head
  • Denying from Spinal Column
  • First being food server the denying forces as per se
  • Second being food 'must' server the affirming part of this astral body.
  • This being food server astral / casual body.

Raviji ; The heaven and hell are not outside, its inside.

Raviji ; The heaven and hell are not my outer condition , its my inside condition.

Amit H ; I can be in Hell when partying and can be at peace at great crisis.

Letter writing

# Letter to a close friend , writting to him/her about the work period . What strucked me any insight or how it was till now.

Dear XYZ,

I am here in Banglore for 4 days , with my Teacher and fellow searcher. Like i told you earlier ; we explore ideas , movement and many such things.

I have veen working on the exercise 'I am attention'. Now by planed i saw something this work period. I was into the exercise of sensing my both arms plus right leg. I saw theat in few minutes i was tired and wanted to rest. But somehow I managed myself to keep trying indepenent of what is happening or independent of my runnign state. SO no matter i am  listening or speaking i was co0nnectf with my breath plus senssation of my some part of the body. Then in this statte I saw that reacting to someone was so unnecessary. No matter what i am surrounded wioth m no matter what activity externally i have been doing the inner quest of doing the exercise is continue. This gave me a window that neither I am the activity nor the body I could seee thatattention being used for the sensing the body and watching the breath and at the same time attention being used by the external work i have engaged myself.

only in atmosphere like that one can do the expensive exercise which one very seldom do at regular life. I wish you would be here ; we could have dig more of this together.

I am not sure what i will be take with me from here. But certatinly i will be exploring more of myself as i am doing at the moment. I will be more then happy even if i see myself few time , the way i am.

Thanking you.

14 Sep 2013 Saturday , Banglore

Guided meditation

Relaxed posture
Easy breathe

See the trajectory of in breath

Inhale and exhale , exhale to the head
Exhale to back
Exhale to the abdomen
Exhale to chest

Question to Presilla : Relation between will and creation of astral body

Answer : With will the substance of relaxation is needed, Plus some other things from outside.

Breath is material for astral body ?
How to use material from astral body ?
By watching it more and more ?
By connecting to breath more and more ?

Will + Relaxation + ....

Two bird

One doing work
Other watching

Question to Raviji : Its written in Beelzebub that the second body is made from Second being food, also    breath seems to be a birth place of Astral. What is it and what is the role of attention in making Astral body ?

Raviji ; Dont give this so important , as Astral body is a BY- PRODUCT of Work. Dont bother about it.

Raviji ; Question ; inquisition , quest

Raviji ; I have a question ?
I am a question ?
Who am i ?

Raviji : Nature of quality of seeing.
Rather then trying to change what i see.
Try to strengthen the quality of sear.
The quality decision of what i should see.

Raviji ; Seeing is a level higher then the ordinary function. Seeing bring the change not my ideas.

Amit H ; Prakriti horizontal , Purusha vertical , both penetrating each other and seeing belong to purusha

The moment i want to change , i have come to the nature of Prakriti.

What i see is Prakriti , but where i see from is Purusha. My seeing dwell on vertical axis and my ordinary consciousness move in horizontal axis.

Raviji ; First letter chapter 13
new testament of saint paul , about love

Raviji ; We need the 'relaxed attention'. Relaxed arrow.

Raviji ; Seeing situation ? Fixing Situation ?

Raviji l Right action should comes from clear and clearer perception.

Raviji; Thought >> Krisnamurthi >>  comes from past >>  root of all problem.

Raviji ; Even the Devil has his place.

Raviji ; Insight :: Away from agreeing and disagreeing. Thought higher and higher.

Raviji ; We cant go to the higher thought from higher feeling. Higher thought = thought higher with feeling higher.

Tapas prabhav = Our effort
Dev Prasad = His effort.

Amit H ; Need both . All we need to do our task.

Raviji ; Moon = Negative emotions and habits
Sun = Integrated individuality

Raviji ; Wish , Swabhav Krishna in me.

Raviji ; Struggle without agitation: Krishna

Movie = "Best exotic marigold hotel"

15 Sep 2013 Sunday , Banglore

Amit H ; Movement and laws inside a movement.

Amit H ; I should feel that all the laws of world creation and world maintenance is there inside the movement.

Amit H ; Till now i use to 'learn the movement steps  very fast and then sense one part of the body for rest of time and struggle with it.But now it seems that I most of the time struggle with learning laws acting some thing seems to be missing here.

Amit H ; Now I have decided for now that no matter what I do , no matter what condition I am in ; I will try not to lost myself will try this for few month and then will get back to it.

Exercise : To be connected to oneself ; either by sensation or by watching the emotions thoughts / energy passing by. Even if I am in the process of learning the new thing.

"Nothing is worth losing oneself."