Sunday, November 30, 2014
Friday, November 28, 2014
Thankfully i had some attention left over in me , i then tried to see the sensation / emotional pain without any cause. Pushed all possible 'reasons' aside i was trying to experience the force. It was very heavy and i was not able to hold it. Was moving in all my rooms as it was not bearable. Few times more i tried to experience the material without any reasons. But most of the time that moment of 'experience' without any tag , logic was very small.
At one of the moment , in between the sensations and forces felt as if this is some kind of ritual. The material which is here , was being honored , wit respect i approached and did not react. Usual reaction is either to cling to the forces by constantly wanting it or by rejecting it by wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible. To not to react to the forces is Such an respect to the force itself. It felt like a sacred process to me , for that moment.
Amazing world !
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Group exercise :
To explore what does it mean that the emotions are by product of the tempo of the body and the mind.
Personal exercise :
To be able to have a taste of the space where impulse hit and my attitude toward the action under the force. Am I tensed at those moment ? Can I be more relaxed there without hurry ?
I see that most of the time , the place where the impulse comes from is a space filled with energy violent.
Its 23 October , its been more then a month post Work Period. I am now not able to touch or feel that space. Not any more. Today while I was boarding ,going to home tried to see how relaxed I was internally. Found that I have lost the contact. It seems that there is a wall build there by myself.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Earlier the outer conditioning mattered to me , not intellectually but in reality. But today when I was involved with this finer attention which passed through. I realized that where one is , does not matter. What matter is the state at one is , quality of attention present at the moment. Washing dishes or whipping the floor is immaterial , at what emotion one has what intention one has matters.
I see from the pattern in me , that I absorbed more rajsik material then the tamsic one. As if the tissues in me are more receptive to Rajsik forces passing by. The so called definition of shy, introvert is nothing but another notion of saying that the DNA is more rajsik inclination.
We at the same time can overcome the rajsik behavior by using will. But it's interesting to see all if it. Assumption here is that the body and DNA is a combination of Karmic cycle of mine.
Saw the movement of attention during the insight. At that moment the attention just passed through us and for that moment whatever we think see or ponder it gets wrapped in it and show us the Reality. That reality is of the very high order depends on the quality of the attention passing through. What play of attention.
So finally my 3 month exercise is over where I have to experience the heat in my body. Aim is to be there when the heat passes through and not to react to it.
What I saw is that I was there but intensity of the moment was such that i use to react to other people's reaction.
Experienced some different kind of sensations and it was very fulfilling.
Have taken the exercise of not logging in fb as my laptop have some problem. I saw this huge urge to check my feed.
Next day I saw it again. It comes and goes. When I am exhausted with work and want a small release of energy negative frustration I want to go to fb as this is a energy pathway I have approved it already. Pathway where I find myself reaction to whatever news I read. Not doing that has some psychological effect.
On Wednesday I saw the urge of smoking , the intensity was high. I Dont smoke on regular days unless there is an event. Saw it when the urge was on peak , thanked everyone and got material for not smoking it. Ate gulbjamun instead.
Times when I am with zero attention , at those moments when I am finding difficult to come back to body and breath or the situation when I am finding difficulty coping up my fears , I see there that the chant of ' It will get over , its just a phase'.
At times it helped me to give me pseudo grounding for fraction of second but now they have become prime obstacle between me and the present moment. I feel they do eat out some impression and I am not liking it.
Taking bath seems to me a sacred process. Post office I feel a bit tensed physically and emotionally and its not that easy to cope. When started taking bath all this summer I saw that post bath the whole organism is changed , the pours of the body have their own life cycle and when we take bath is shows gratitude in their own language.
When angry or depressed or frustrated body Do release some material , very similar to when we puke. Taking bath seems to be a process when we remove unwanted material from the mouth of the pours we have all across the body.
This small process do changes everything.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
- Identification of an action ( Mental , emotional , Physical ) bounds you to the Karma.
- Karma has an enormous momentum. The thought patterns, the emotional patterns, the reactive patterns.
- Every time you identify with a thought that arises, which is form, you are born into that thought. Your identity, your sense of self is in it. That’s karma. Your karma is the unconscious identification with these patterns that you have inherited – the conditioned. It is complete identification of consciousness with the conditioned patterns.
- Karma is the complete absence of conscious Presence. It is automatic.
- In the light of awareness, the patterns no longer dominate your life.
- As Presence arises, you are freed from karma.
- There is ultimately really only one teacher, the awakened Consciousness is the teacher.
- Whatever emotion I cause another to experience must ultimately become my own experience.
- Whoever or whatever is compelling me or repelling me and whatever I am experiencing – is the consequence of my own prior thoughts, decisions and actions. Understanding the Law of Karma gives deep significance to concepts such as responsibility and justice.
- The Law of Karma begins to work to my advantage when I stop habitual actions that are harmful, take responsibility to positively address the consequences of any such actions performed in the past, and pay attention to performing positive actions from this moment forward.
- Karma means action, means "to do".It is dynamic.
- Newton who formulated the law which states that every action must have an equal and opposite reaction. In the moral sphere of conscious actions, we have a counterpart to the physical law of action and reaction, the law that every intentional, will action must have its effect.
- Desire is a tremendous force, and must be directed in the right channels, or chaos ensues.
- Acknowledging your karmic source is the first step towards breaking free of unwanted life patterns.
- The single greatest way to resolve past karma is to forgive those who have hurt you and seek a final note of closure. To forgive is to detach, but you must remember to forgive yourself as well.
- Distinction of events by good and bad in a way shows the lack of understanding of the law Karma.
- Trying to see the possible meaning of the bad side of so-called good event and good side of so-called bad events ; might give us the glimpse of the overall picture of the event.
- Karma like any other formless object can’t be seen or felt. However Karma manifest in us by our habits. Set of patterns will reflect it. Like everyone has their Karma , one will have his/her own patterns of manifestation.
- When a painful events passes by , one can say that this ‘might’ be the past deeds which is manifesting. By being aware of the event and oneself one can Stop it. And not let it continue further. Absorbing pain , taking responsibility , Watchfulness.
- The tamsik behaviour of our habit and pattern can be viewed as a Karmic pattern we carry with ourselves.
- Attention can’t suffer. Only I suffers.
- As we sow so shall we reap.
- Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
- An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.
- “Evil will return on your own head” Samuel 25.39.
- “If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.”
- “If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.”
- Usually we consider time to be a straight line. But actually, there are no straight lines in nature. The horizon looks like a straight line, but on a higher scale it turns out to be a circle. These recurring events don’t look the same from the outside, because the places and people are always changing, but the Inner Meaning of these events can be just the same. And usually they are, because our psycho/emotional make up doesn’t change much over time.
- Evolution is derived from Karmic Revolution.
- Everything happens. ( Fair enough , no one have enough will to DO. So let the nature manifest and let my Karmic pattern rule me. )
- Usual emotions which comes up , we react to it and as a chain process it goes on and on. This leads to create new Karma all the time. We live here.
- Second level is that when we divert our attention , when we see emotions arising. Not to suppress them , but to direct our attention to do something else. Drinking water , some activity involving with intellectual , solving sudoku etc. Intelligent people somehow figure it out to channelize this material.
- Third level is where we separate the emotion with the object. We encounter the emotion alone. Say if i see myself getting angry with Rakesh. I focus my attention on the Anger , rather than Rakesh. I BE with the anger either by watching the thought pattern or sensing the body and see the rise in temperature.
- The fourth level is when we separate the emotion and the object. Then once this is done we ask ourselves ; who is experiencing the emotion.
- Every thought, every action that we have and make sets into motion a cause. These causes have their effects. These effects make our lives, for good or ill. We are now, have been, and will go on, making our lives from moment to moment.
- As we serve, we demonstrate love. As we demonstrate love, by law, we get love. That strengthens and potentizes the individual in a way in which he can deal with his own karma.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Observer concurrently five manners of behavior : tone of voice , posture , gesture , movements and facial expression. Why are these five isolated and exclusively dealt with. We are aware of the reception of the impression of others by deduction from the five manners of behavior. We imagine we can report about ourselves what we are feeling and thinking - that we have some intuition or clairvoyance which enables us to know and report our own thoughts and emotions clearly.
Monday, April 21, 2014
This week will make a list of all the habits i see in me.
2) Not aware of the posture and not sensitive enough to be in the position which is less energy consuming.
2) To give into the passing emotions easily.
3) Always rely on the past emotional trajectory and afraid to invite the new emotions.
2) To get into the discussion which is imaginative and time and energy consuming. Behaving without intelligent.
When dealing with higher emotions , it downs my being.
Then started blaming the forces passing by
Sunday, April 6, 2014
In the Uttara Tantra, Maitreya teaches Avagosha the ultimate nature of the mind and shares teachings that are meant to clarify all the questions regarding what it is. Avagosha chanted for 12 years to evolve his consciousness to the point where Maitreya could manifest in front of him, dialogue with him and clarify every question he had about this. Inside the discourse are "4 steps to freedom" which are not hard to do. They are also implied in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras and in many teachings. Sometimes they are very clear and sometimes they are less clear.
The four steps are (1) place attention on any object and hold it there. Practice this step until you can concentrate your mind on the object and not wander for five minutes. If you are honest, you will notice how much the thinking mind wanders and find that you have lose your attention often. But with a little practice you will be able to steady the mind on the object with only minor subtle wanderings of attention. Patanjali calls the fulfillment of this exercise a minor liberation. You gain a little freedom when you are able to freely concentrate the mind this way and are able to move outside of lock step with stimulus activating mental conditioning causing a reaction.
(2) With mind steady on the object, then "noticing the noticing". You are aware of the object, now be aware that you are aware. Keep up this noticing the noticing until you can do this for 9 minutes. This is actually a very deep exercise that one can benefit from a lot. It will actually rechemicalize the brain in a positive way and even activate the "time body" where you will be able to see the future. Patanjali mentions a number of siddhis or powers that come from this exercise. He also advises one to not give too much attention to these powers, because it is more important than we enter the "sanity" of enlightenment. Otherwise we will insanely amplify our karma and cause ourselves more suffering.
(3) Shuttle between subject and object, feel like you are touching the object you have chosen and feel the subject you have chosen. If you are using the modality of seeing, it will produce a special sensation in the eyes. If you are listening to music, you will feel a special sensation in the ears. As you are shuttling back and forth, feel what you are moving across. Notice what is not subject or object. This is the "third place". Again do this until you can do it well for about five minutes.
(4) The last step is "dropping subject and object and abiding in awareness as awareness". In Buddhist terms, you realize there is "no self", no subject. It is shifting from "I am aware" to "I am awareness". There is no observer behind the seeing, there is just the seeing. You rest in the seeing by simply being the seeing. This is your natural mind. There are a number of deeper shifts beyond this, but they all depend on this natural abiding.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
Point wise lists are :
- Learn Piano.
- Work with the body.Means will do exercise around Surya Namaskar , Sensation related exercise,Walking meditation and other related with enhancing the physical sensation. To develop the Organic sensation of the physical body.
- Reading Christian Material. To improvise the Bible knowledge and stories.
- Work on Divided attention , with keep the sensation as a central point. Two centered exercises in daily life.
- A.R. Orage books exercise for intellect.
- To be aware of the quality of attention i have at the moment.
- Pick exercise from Shiv Sutra , Shiv Sanhita , Shiv Purana.
- Learn Piano.