Time for making a list of exercises i will be taking for the year.
Point wise lists are :
Work with the body.Means will do exercise around Surya Namaskar , Sensation related exercise,Walking meditation and other related with enhancing the physical sensation. To develop the Organic sensation of the physical body.
Reading Christian Material. To improvise the Bible knowledge and stories.
Work on Divided attention , with keep the sensation as a central point. Two centered exercises in daily life.
A.R. Orage books exercise for intellect.
To be aware of the quality of attention i have at the moment.
To seek and utter these words aloud or inside , "I AM". To see what happens inside , to see what sensations i am having at the moment and where. To see my current stat. To collect more data. Desire to know who am i ?.
Exercise came from the book.
Reading from 'Life is Only Real When "I AM"'
This is necessary chiefly in order that the consciousness forming in oneself during an active state should continue also during a passive state.
For the correct understanding of the significance of this first assisting exercise, it is first of all necessary to know that when a normal man, that is, a man who already has his real I, his will, and all the other properties of a real man, pronounces aloud or to himself the words "I am," then there always proceeds in him, in his, as it is called, "solar plexus," a so to say "reverberation," that is, something like a vibration, a feeling, or something of the sort.
This kind of reverberation can proceed also in other parts of his body in general, but only on the condition that, when pronouncing these words, his attention is intentionally concentrated on them.
If the ordinary man, not having as yet in himself data for the natural reverberation but knowing of the existence of this fact, will, with conscious striving for the formation in himself of the genuine data which should be in the common presence of a real man, correctly and frequently pronounce these same and for him as yet empty words, and will imagine that this same reverberation proceeds in him, he may thereby ultimately through frequent repetition gradually acquire in himself a so to say theoretical "beginning" for the possibility of a real practical forming in himself of these data.
He who is exercising himself with this must at the beginning, when pronouncing the words "I am," imagine that this same reverberation is already proceeding in his solar plexus.
Here, by the way, it is curious to notice that as a result of the intentional concentration of this reverberation on any part of his body, a man can stop any disharmony which has arisen in this said part of the body, that is to say, he can for example cure his headache by concentrating the reverberation on that part of the head where he has the sensation of pain.
At the beginning it is necessary to pronounce the words "I am" very often and to try always not to forget to have the said reverberation in one's solar plexus.
Without this even if only imagined experiencing of the reverberation, the pronouncing aloud or to oneself of the words "I am" will have no significance at all.
The result of the pronouncing of them without this reverberation will be the same as that which is obtained from the automatic associative mentation of man, namely, an increase of that in the atmosphere of our planet from our perception of which, and from its blending with our second food, there arises in us an irresistible urge to destroy the various tempos of our ordinary life somehow established through centuries.
This second exercise, as I have already said, is only preparatory; and when you have acquired the knack, as it were, of experiencing this process imagined in yourself, only then will I give you further definite real indications for the actualization in yourself of real results.
First of all, concentrate the greater part of your attention on the words themselves, "I am," and the lesser part concentrate on the solar plexus, and the reverberation should gradually proceed of itself.
At first it is necessary to acquire only, so to say, the "taste" of these impulses which you have not as yet in you, and which for the present you may designate merely by the words "I am," "I can," "I wish."
I am, I can,
I am can.
I am wish.
In concluding my elucidations of this assisting exercise, I will once more repeat, but in another formulation, what I have already said.
If "I am," only then "I can"; if "I can," only then do I deserve and have the objective right to wish.
Without the ability to "can" there is no possibility of having anything; no, nor the right to it.
First we must assimilate these expressions as external designations of these impulses in order ultimately to have the impulses themselves.
If you several times experience merely the sensation of what I have just called the "taste" of these impulses sacred for man, you will then already be indeed fortunate, because you will then feel the reality of the possibility of sometime acquiring in your presence data for these real Divine impulses proper only to man.
And on these Divine impulses there is based for humanity the entire sense of everything existing in the Universe, beginning from the atom, and ending with everything existing as a whole—and, among other things, even your dollars.
Six days at Thirivannamalai with Radha Nicholson and Sandeep Baldota.
8th Dec 2013
Exercise = While inhalation and exhalation enlighten your Chitta , mindfulness in mind and emotions.
Perception --> Form --> Emotion --> Thought
Thought --> Form --> Desire
=> Movement of mind
2) Forming and perception , views and opinion
3) Identity , Compassion
* Very relaxed physically and emotionally. The schedule is not hectic so the physical body has nothing much to do.
9th Dec 2013
Mindfulness of Dharma
* Watching the life force moving outside and inside. Wish is to see the inside wired pattern and not to get identify with it.
* If emotion comes let it come and if it goes let it goe. No clinging No resisting . Merely Watching.
* Contemplate impermanent nature of Nature -- breath in breath out.
* Breathing in - Contemplating fading away of desire.
Breath out - Disenchantment of our habit / desire every moment. No Attachment.
* Breath in - Contemplating patience.
Breath out Contemplating patience.
=> When memory surface , let it come as sensation , emotion , watch it.
* Breath in - Contemplating relinquishment [ let go ]
Breath out - Contemplating relinquishment [ let go ].
=> To remain with the sensation passing by. Can i see the manifestation and know thy impermanent nature ?
=>Child want , Adults wants to Be.
Ignore wants , Wisdom See's
* Process of binding the thought with 'I' , liberates.
10th Dec 2013
* See inside the process which is happening , be a witness to yourself. Every moment ; fluctuation of attention ; movement of emotions.
=>To experience Freedom , joy , surrender in our daily life. Mindfulness with freedom.
=> Inquiry question in meditation , to deepen in the body.
=> Posting the question in the heart and wait.
This which is an emotional state. The body is relaxed and active. No small I clinging. If it comes subside easily.But there is small intelligence who wants to just BE.
-> No clinging and accepting things as they are ; Being with the Deathless ness i.e. Freedom.
No passion to move No anxiety No desire. Accepting everything which falls onto it. Freedom.
-> Dependent arising unfold it self by the law; with out the self, Its our identification where we get involve into it. We have a chance of standing aways from the process by dis identification and see the organic way of things happening.
11th Dec 2013
-> See sense thing as they are. We add fantasy , false ideas , perception in the reality. We are not sincere.
Death less ness is
Neither past nor future
Not clinging nor resisting
Nor desire nor undesire
Accepting everything as it is
Is Timeless ness.
12th Dec 2013
Mindfulness of the body - breathing : breath and body
Relaxed breath = Deep sensation = Practice equanimity.
* Lets make a queue in oneself where the decision can be made. Before we start with anything few I's will be called upon to enquiry. An then the decision will be made.
* In the fight between I-thought no one can win; the I higher the I thought can only become/bring Peace. Sense the I thought.
- Not taking a stand. No clinging
- Fear = Self getting a separate world. Small self ruling. Fear once download spread in three center and magnify.
- Thought of fear - comes as a thought - use REAL intelligent - it will go away or else it will get downloaded.
# Moment when i have un-identified with my action
** Experience ; where I knew that it is happening through me and I am not the doer. Watching peacock. In sync with the universe, Love passing through me.
** Going around Arunachala in 2.5 hours, 14 kms. I knew that the idea and the energy is not mine all His idea and execution.
** Few sharing I wish not to get identified,
OO Before action ; see the process ; who is doing ? What action is about to begin ? Who is the doer ? Surrender the fruit of action to Him and do it as it is a part of the big process you are in without getting identified.
Non identification is NOT saying I dont care ; I am lazy ; Careless
Non identification is Knwoing laws acting in oneself ; knows his place ; knows the Gunas working ; Surrounding to Him.
Mindfulness of Feeling [ वेदना ]
Five organ sense ( sensation ) -- Feeling corresponding -- Desire ( Clinging / Resisting )
BE with feeling.
There is suffering
Causes and condition which supports the Suffering. Understand the both law.
** If we see a thought which leads to unpleasant emotion then
--> Replace the thought with another thought
--> See the downside of the thought
--> Forget the thought.
--> Stilling the thought ( Mindfulness of breathing )
--> Use your mind to crush your mind
--> To see the impermanent nature around.
$$$ To BE with I thought ?
Love Compassion Joy Equanimity
Greed Hatred Delusion
Law of Impermanence.
* Actions are done by the body / ideas/ emotions ; I am None.
* Actions are a part of duty / service / unavoidable condition / Love / Gratitude / Fear / Desire. Where is the action coming from ?
* Everything almost everything in the physical world is driven by the three Guna's. Guna's play in me. They move and play with each other. Rest is the consequences. Can I see them in me ? The almighty Guna's. Guna moves up and down ; like the day and night ; like a season change by the law, This is a Cosmic play. Watch it.
I thought <--> Attention.-->
The identification is due to like/dislike. This like and dislike we carry as our baby. Watch the like/dislike and the process of getting identification.
Law is love
In order is Law
Choas in In order
Choas is Law.
Quoting again and again the Philokalia : "Just as it is impossible for fire and water to pass through the same pipe together, so it is impossible for sin to enter the heart without first knocking at its door in the form of a fantasy provoked by the devil."
It seems that the the same is true for Sensation as well. I have not experience this with Sensation , however i do have experience that it truly work for Emotion. So this is what i saw 'It comes as a thought , of some desire , be it wanting something or not wanting something.' If i did not chopped it away , it will take the silence as Yes and enter to emotional center. Emotions of that type and enter and create Havoc inside. Will do the exercise with Sensation as well and will try to see it this is true for Sensation as well. For example when i see a Ice cream which i like or a movie Trailer when i find exciting. Will double check if for sensation it works or not.
The above Philokalia quote says about the Sin. Here Sin can be either Emotions , Sensations or Fantasy. I have observed that it is true for the Emotions , now have to check for the sensation and then later check for the Fantasy / Day Dreaming as well.
For fun lets take the Seven Deadly sins here :
Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity. [ Sensation ]
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation. [ Thought ]
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires. [ Sensation ]
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body. [ Sensation ]
Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath. [ Emotion ]
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness. [ Thought ]
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. [ Emotion ]
Desire is to explore this area , to understand the materiality of Identification.
I first read this theory that : 'Karma is nothing but identification with one's action.' Was very shocked that the sole reason is just one identification. But then later when i saw my daily routine and the way i am attached to the passing thought , its a mess inside. I see that i identify myself with every small things passing by.
I have decided to work in this area for some time.
The Question 'Who am i ?' is very interestingly linked with identification here. I identify myself as a body or the thought or emotions. As if if that moment i ask myself this question , i will fall under either the above category. Where as there are very few moment when I know that I am none of the above. In the light of attention i see this process of Me getting identified with either thought emotions and sensation.
Every moment if i can bring some amount of attention. Or if i try to connect with attention present in me at the moment and see the activity inside. Constantly Know that i am None of the above. Know that this attention in me is helping me to see this activity inside. Even this attention is not mine and it keep changing. Constantly to be in the space of not knowing but willing to Look inside.
I see that my center of gravity is in any one of the center. The knowledge and the corresponding intelligence is also limited to that center alone. This is a very Bad position to be in. Every time when i remember myself i wish to bring the other part of my body under the light of the attention present. This will in a way increase my area of perception and help me being more awareness in me. Bringing the other center also means that we are bringing the corresponding intelligent and experience into the light. To do it again and again tirelessly is my Aim at the moment.
If i do it more often it will also help me see the process. It will help me stay away from one center and hence there will be less identification at center level. I believe the moment we bring another center into the picture the intensity of the identification also get diluted. More sample size is needed.
To understand the forces – What EXACTLY is an Affirming force? What EXACTLY is a Denying force?
Trying to understand , how for one action or for one impulse , if we take the impulse as an affirming force then the 'others' act as a denying force. To see the process and know what is acting at what role and the exchange between them.
So if i catch myself being dwelling in emotions , and if emotions at that moment is affirming then what could be the corresponding denying force there ?
Will catch the flow of emotions , when they act as an affirming and then see how could i bring the denying force for them.
Tuesday 12 Nov 2013
I saw that if affirming force is emotions then denying forcecould be the sensation or the thought. It depends the state of myself. Sensation was denying once.
I saw that when as per the schedule i had to do the practice of Piano my emotional center was not ready ( lazy maybe ? ) acting as a denying force. The argument were failed as if this vision or the reason why i started this Piano is not working. Physically i cant do anything here as trying sensing does not work. Seems that i have to use my Will power and just do the thing. No centers manifestation. Will manifesting through them.
Thursday 14 Nov 2013
The emotions when comes up , it act as a mud and sink the consciousness into it. If one have attention at the moment can divert the sinking attention to some part of the body or think the process happening inside. Body seems to be the only help here along with the knowledge we have accumulated.
If we can Try and see which Guna's are acting on us. It will be of great help. It seems that active is nothing but the vivifying quality of the material so is passive. The one who dominates ; becomes the active for that moment ; no matter who dominates. Sometime it might be the Urge for some physical please / sleep or thoughts / ego or an emotional impulse which pushes us to do something. Whoever dominates we flow with that current. It could be physical emotional or intellectual. Seems that the Role of Three Guna's acts through the centers.
If Rajas dominates in Physical center = Violent , Aggression. If Tamas dominates in Physical center = Dull , Laziness , Heaviness. If Sattva dominates in Physical center = Relaxation , Clam.
If Rajas dominates in Emotional center = Anger , Fear , Jealousy. If Tamas dominate the Emotional center = Disinterest , Boredom , Indifference. If Sattva dominates the Emotional center = Calmness , Non violence , Kindness.
If Rajas dominated in Intellectual center = Comparison , Analysis. If Tamas dominates the Intellectual center = Neglecting , Forgetting. If Sattva dominates the Intellectual center = Clarity , Confidence , Less unwanted thought.
Awesome the Architect !!
Wednesday 27 Nov 2013
I see many layers in me. Layers which when activated , dominates me through and through. These layers for me are the set of 'I''s or the set of habits. The dominating habits are my emotional habits , emotional likes and dislikes. I am finding very hard to go against them. Have no clue most of the time of the originating of the liking and disliking of these emotional habits. But when they surface they don't give much space to the other centers to sneak in.
Also the role of attention or the self consciousness is very interesting here. It seems that the attention is the one who binds the centers. At times when there is a sensation which is dominating , at that moment invoking the other centers are solely done by the Grace of self remembering and attention to bring other centers in the light of attention present at the moment. It seems to me that the act of binding need to be iterated it again and again.
The role of attention and will is another topic where i would like to put some attention.
Attention and Will are both of dual nature. 'Dev Prasad' and 'Tapas Prabah' are the dependent factors for both of them.
Both are free from the centers acting , dominating.
Struggling with the fact that the emotional stress i see inside me all the time. Very rare i am free of this , if free it give a different freedom.
Analyzing the pattern i saw that when i have no idea what is going to happen then , there is no fantasy or imagination to play with. That time when mind is paused for a moment , because of uncertainty ,there comes the great emotional surrender to the universe or the forces around.
But if we pick a daily routine task then i see that the task to be done are defined at the very beginning of the day. One knows what all has to be done today. Now since one knows what has to be done , there is a possible fantasy of excitement or things not happening the way one has thought. This fantasy leads to none other then Fear or Excitement Also very interestingly fear / excitement cant manifest themselves , just like that. The emotions also want an object where they can manifest. SO imagination gives them the ground to manifest on. Without imagining one cant invite the emotions.
Was watching the movement of the emotions inside and what i saw is that the emotions emits in a form of an event. We can't express the happiness or sadness just like that. Its not the way usual emotions work. They usually coil themselves around any event actions.
Remind me of the Classic text from Philokalia by St Hesychios the Priest :
"Just as it is impossible for fire and water to pass through the same pipe together, so it is impossible for sin to enter the heart without first knocking at its door in the form of a fantasy provoked by the devil."
So the imagination which happens inside us 24x7 are nothing but a ground for emotion to run. Which ever space [ Imagination ] we feed with attention , when accumulated enough attention span ; downloads the corresponding emotions in us.
Originally from : http://pittsburghoratory.blogspot.in/2012/05/strike-serpent-on-head-philokalia-on.html
I like how they have made the title as 'Strike the serpent on the head'. Brutal stuff !! Four stages how sin downloads inside us through the gate of our intellect.
Taste the mechanical force which urge me to fall , again and again. Against my will. What do they serve.
See myself while speaking , how the emotions turn over and over whelming identification with whatever i say.
The other day i was sharing with Anuradha , Amit Mahalle and Sankalp that there is a kind of relaxation i see in me , which comes very randomly. The magnitude of this kind of relaxation is overwhelming. One needs to have this relaxation. ; i tag this as an emotional relaxation . Which i observed whenever i am going for some outdoor trip , where i have no clue , where i am going and what will be possible outcome / execution. On ordinary day when i know, what i am going to do today , in sequence. In this scenario i see that there is stress in my emotional channel. I don't know how to open up to this emotional channel which is blocked most of the time and opens sometimes , very randomly (?) .
Was watching the movement of the emotions inside and what i saw is that the emotions emits in a form of an event. We can express the happiness or sadness just like that. Its not the way usual emotions work. They usually coil themselves around any event actions.
To explore the mechanical side of me. To have a taste of the mechanicality in me. What is Askokin ?
Get a taste of conscious action , to have a taste of the material which bring the denying part against my mechanical habit.
Making a list of object / event for all my three centers ; object through which i identify myself. Build a strength to watch it , the process.
Tempering the volume.
Speak without identification.
To have a taste of Affirming [ Active ] principle with respect to all my centers. What does it mean to be affirming from my thinking / emotional and physical center. Same for denying.
What is Affirming force / Denying force ? With respect to whom ? To the AIM they are Affirming / Denying or they are Affirming / Denying in general ?
There is energy with Impulse ? If my Aim is not in the direction of that Impulse what can be done ? Bringing the other centers ? If i have no impulse toward my Aim , how can i bring the Impulse to server my Aim ?
Question : Why , I am here ? Amit H : To see myself more and more clearly. I see , with my past experience , with fear and self importance. How can i see this moment , without fear , without judgement , without self importance.
Raviji : Awareness is to be aware this moment , what it is.
Raviji : Seeing and awareness does not belong to my ordinary functions.
Raviji : The longer I stay , the longer I stay with my higher conscious.
Saint Paul :
I do what i do not wish to do.
I do not do , what i wish to do.
Raviji : Awareness of inner fragmentation , Desire to Be.
Terror of the situation.
The disease of tomorrow.
The power of Death.
Raviji : The daemon of forgetfulness is in which Shiva dances.
What is that ? Exercise : To listen what comes out of my mouth and to sense my body. "I am attention."
Exercise : When remember to remember myself , see the forces moving around and every where and see my location / co ordinate / space in this event."I am attention."
Raviji : Attention and Intention. Attention : More and more connection with awareness. Intention gives more and more clear idea about my aim/goal.
12 Sep 2013 Thursday , Banglore
Exercise : Listen to a person , then the words.
Raviji : Arjuna saying to krishna , sometimes you say this , and sometimes you say that. Tell me one thing what to do.
Devil of the year : Laziness.
Raviji : In order to maintain the order , we have to participate in Yajya. My effort + Dev prasad ; My effort part is mine.
Raviji : Subtler realities need to be externalize.
Raviji : Agni have to called before we call the Higher. What is Agni ?
Is it a fire , fire in the form of sacrifice , fire in the form of impartiality ?
Raviji : Suffer , to be with Suffering.
Raviji : How can i watch myself more and more impartial.Impartiality also have Grace.
Raviji : Everyone in the world have a unique way of celebrating the GOD : I Individuality.
Raviji : If i become against the EGO , one will never be free of Ego. Against the Ego is another EGO trick.
Good servant Bad master
Effort , Determination Slavery , Greed
Raviji ; True individuality is to intentionally putting oneself under the law. Integration of mind-body-emotion.
Integration of all I's.
All asurik nature and devik nature.
Raviji ; Being closer the Sun then the earth ; true individuality.
Amit H : Lost the thread of exercise post lunch , felt as if something is left over my right ear. Movement and meditation was done in a state where one part is worried about what is that which is left inside my right ear and the other part is dedicatedly participating in the movement and meditation. Somehow I managed to do it. Later on tried hard to go inside my ear and remove what is left over. But it seems its my illusion ; but tonight will ask someone to look inside ; but tonight will ask someone to look inside once. Saket did checked it once and there was nothing inside.
Raviji ; Silence of the living not the silence of the dead.
Raviji ; Work a connection with the subtler energies repeatedly.
Raviji ; Exercise are mean to clear the channel inside the body.
Question to Raviji :- During the practise of the exercise "I am Conscious"; I keep watching my habit and then forces / energies passing through me. I usually try not to react to them and to see them coming and going. Once when i was middle of something and then i decided to use this energies and sense my body. I did it and it worked like a charm. But then along with EGO getting feeded , there was the element of fear that i should not use these kind of energy because one does not know what one is playing with.
Answer from Raviji :- Its good to do these experiment and see these events. These force are the manifestation of the lower forces and subtler energies working. Without the both the forces these manifestation are not mean to be. But to know at the same time not to be identified with these experiment or to take them as a medal.
These may be time when you want see the sunlight or there is a earth quake so be careful.
This is not a destination , know the two forces in act.
13 Sep 2013 Friday , Banglore
Exercise : Can i be actively receptive ?What is required ?What is my part ?
Law of three Presentation
Three force acting everywhere.
Three gunas acting on everyone , no one to blame.
Okidanok : Sun absolute ; inside ; absolute
I govern by eating myself ; Trogoautoegocrat . Impression of myself - Food
Omnipresent Okidanokh --- Djarklom + - o
Sacred triamazikamno enters from three center.
Head -- Affirming
Spinal Column -- Holy affirming
No resemblance -- Reconciling
Split into parts in different part of physical body
Chest / Solar plexes
Affirming - from head
Denying from Spinal Column
First being food server the denying forces as per se
Second being food 'must' server the affirming part of this astral body.
This being food server astral / casual body.
Raviji ; The heaven and hell are not outside, its inside.
Raviji ; The heaven and hell are not my outer condition , its my inside condition.
Amit H ; I can be in Hell when partying and can be at peace at great crisis.
# Letter to a close friend , writting to him/her about the work period . What strucked me any insight or how it was till now.
Dear XYZ, I am here in Banglore for 4 days , with my Teacher and fellow searcher. Like i told you earlier ; we explore ideas , movement and many such things. I have veen working on the exercise 'I am attention'. Now by planed i saw something this work period. I was into the exercise of sensing my both arms plus right leg. I saw theat in few minutes i was tired and wanted to rest. But somehow I managed myself to keep trying indepenent of what is happening or independent of my runnign state. SO no matter i am listening or speaking i was co0nnectf with my breath plus senssation of my some part of the body. Then in this statte I saw that reacting to someone was so unnecessary. No matter what i am surrounded wioth m no matter what activity externally i have been doing the inner quest of doing the exercise is continue. This gave me a window that neither I am the activity nor the body I could seee thatattention being used for the sensing the body and watching the breath and at the same time attention being used by the external work i have engaged myself. only in atmosphere like that one can do the expensive exercise which one very seldom do at regular life. I wish you would be here ; we could have dig more of this together. I am not sure what i will be take with me from here. But certatinly i will be exploring more of myself as i am doing at the moment. I will be more then happy even if i see myself few time , the way i am. Thanking you.
14 Sep 2013 Saturday , Banglore
Relaxed posture Easy breathe See the trajectory of in breath Inhale and exhale , exhale to the head Exhale to back Exhale to the abdomen Exhale to chest
Question to Presilla : Relation between will and creation of astral body
Answer : With will the substance of relaxation is needed, Plus some other things from outside.
Breath is material for astral body ? How to use material from astral body ? By watching it more and more ? By connecting to breath more and more ?
Will + Relaxation + ....
One doing work
Question to Raviji : Its written in Beelzebub that the second body is made from Second being food, also breath seems to be a birth place of Astral. What is it and what is the role of attention in making Astral body ?
Raviji ; Dont give this so important , as Astral body is a BY- PRODUCT of Work. Dont bother about it.
Raviji ; Question ; inquisition , quest
Raviji ; I have a question ?
I am a question ?
Who am i ?
Raviji : Nature of quality of seeing.
Rather then trying to change what i see.
Try to strengthen the quality of sear.
The quality decision of what i should see.
Raviji ; Seeing is a level higher then the ordinary function. Seeing bring the change not my ideas.
Amit H ; Prakriti horizontal , Purusha vertical , both penetrating each other and seeing belong to purusha
The moment i want to change , i have come to the nature of Prakriti.
What i see is Prakriti , but where i see from is Purusha. My seeing dwell on vertical axis and my ordinary consciousness move in horizontal axis.
Raviji ; First letter chapter 13
new testament of saint paul , about love
Raviji ; We need the 'relaxed attention'. Relaxed arrow.
Raviji ; Seeing situation ? Fixing Situation ?
Raviji l Right action should comes from clear and clearer perception.
Raviji; Thought >> Krisnamurthi >> comes from past >> root of all problem.
Raviji ; Even the Devil has his place.
Raviji ; Insight :: Away from agreeing and disagreeing. Thought higher and higher.
Raviji ; We cant go to the higher thought from higher feeling. Higher thought = thought higher with feeling higher.
Tapas prabhav = Our effort
Dev Prasad = His effort.
Amit H ; Need both . All we need to do our task.
Raviji ; Moon = Negative emotions and habits
Sun = Integrated individuality
Raviji ; Wish , Swabhav Krishna in me.
Raviji ; Struggle without agitation: Krishna
Movie = "Best exotic marigold hotel"
15 Sep 2013 Sunday , Banglore
Amit H ; Movement and laws inside a movement. Amit H ; I should feel that all the laws of world creation and world maintenance is there inside the movement. Amit H ; Till now i use to 'learn the movement steps very fast and then sense one part of the body for rest of time and struggle with it.But now it seems that I most of the time struggle with learning laws acting some thing seems to be missing here. Amit H ; Now I have decided for now that no matter what I do , no matter what condition I am in ; I will try not to lost myself will try this for few month and then will get back to it.
Exercise : To be connected to oneself ; either by sensation or by watching the emotions thoughts / energy passing by. Even if I am in the process of learning the new thing.
I am my god
in this time and space
what ever i think happens
the one who think is a slave of my habits.
The emotions in me when passes through
i like or dislike things
i promise thing or make statement
all the promise which comes from one center
is a mechanical reaction of that center
To engage another center when the emotional energy passes
is the only thing to do
to sense the energy passing through me from more then one center
Body is the closest one and can unite with emotion or thought.
Task for the week : To know and understand "Nothing is permanent".
So every time there is a pain pleasure in my emotions. Stress and lightness in my body , i see the process and try to understand and live knowing the fact that its not permanent.
Will be writing down the experience for the week.
Week 1 : When it happened i was chanting that 'nothing is permanent' but it felt alien. As if there was no communication between the two centers.
Week 2 :
# When it was happening i went inside the experience and could sense the root cause. My inclination toward the process clinging / resisting.
# Felt that i have to be soaked in the experience and at the same time to be aloof from the experience. To understand that its my experience , not me.
# A part in me thinks that he should not get these [ BAD experience per say ] and want to get rid of it. Where in actual case we should inhale whatever is been poured in us , be it a sensation or emotion or the thought. We are not able to see that the event happening is been created / invited / decorated by me only. If i see that i don't react and be in the process knowing / allowing the process to happen. When i am not able to see i react ; because i can't see the whole picture.I also see i have no faith in the cosmos for that moment.
Everything inside me , be it sensation , emotions , thoughts are in movement.
Forces are passing through me and they are in the movement too.
Can i see that i am not the sensation , emotion , thoughts , forces ... these events are just passing by. Like a water passes by the river. Its a great discovery , when you see it passing by. Amazed as how they flow , thrilled by what may come.
And then sometimes i ask myself. What am i doing here ?
I remember my childhood days , the image of Lord Hanuman showing Lord Ram in his heart ... i am amazed by the gesture. This image is still stuck in my sub conscious zone.
I could not understand how can someone do this to one self , i had a bit idea that this is not literal but symbolic. However i could not able to get the taste of it. All i could get is that , He is the Lord Ram devotee and every pour of his body remembers Lord Ram every moment.
As i see now the property of Lord Hanuman , it does show some inclination toward certain type of properties.
Lord Hanuman can fly.
Flying is being free from the earth gravitation. Seems like if we reflect the same in our own body , where body being the earth then something which is free from the earthy pull. Some finer attention which can watch the body-emotion-mind movement and yet its not the part of it. Free and can levitate when required.
Son of Vayu.
Vayu which carries essential material for the life force. It is been said that breathing tells everything about oneself. Finer the breathe , stable the body-mind-emotion connection.
Lord Ram devotee.
Is a Lord Ram devotee and always wishes to server the Lord. If i assume Lord Hanuman is that the finer attention which is not mine , but i sometimes see passing through me ... to whom it servers and how ? What is there in me equivalent to Lord Ram.
" राम काज करिबे को आतुर "
Always eager to help.
Showing image of Lord Ram in his heart. Heard this from Shri Shri that in the heart of Astral body lies the Soul. Also in other places : Astral body is the vessel for the Soul.
Is this what the above portrait is telling us. Crystallize the Astral body and in the heart of it you will find your Self ?
What Legend says is true but i have to experience it before i make any statement.
Lifting the whole mountain. Is very powerful but have less power of intelligence ? Higher emotional center lacks vision ?
Free from Laws of Shani. If one connects to that level of attention , then one can be free from the laws applying to the world / earth / body-mind-emotion ? Does it mean that the Laws of Shani deals only with the worldly exchanges only.
How can i get benefit it i have understood the law ?
TheoryFrom the textbookHow can i understand it ?Exercise taken to understand itHow can i get benefit it i have understood the law ?
The seven fundamental tones of the octave express the law of seven.
Those seven stages were symbolically associated to the musical octave from "do" to the next "do".
On an octave, the first shock is to be delivered between "si" and "do", that is, at the end of one cycle and the beginning of the next one.
As the energy of the beginning may run out quite quickly and the process might not be completed, a second shock is to be delivered between "mi" and "fa", which is 3/7 of the whole cycle.
The flow of forces follows a line that constantly deflects at specific intervals and unites again at its ends. According to this primordial sacred cosmic law, the line of the flow of forces has seven points of deflection or, as is otherwise said, seven 'centers of gravity,' and the distance between two consecutive points of deflection, or 'centers of gravity,' is called a 'stopinder' of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh.' The complete process of this sacred law, acting through everything newly arising and existing, is always made up of seven stopinders.
“These changes in the functioning of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh consisted in this, that in three of its Stopinders HE altered the what are called ‘subjective actions’ which had been until then in the Stopinders, in this respect, that in one HE lengthened the law-conformable successiveness; shortened it in another; and in a third, disharmonized it.
And, namely, with the purpose of providing the ‘requisite inherency’ for receiving, for its functioning, the automatic affluence of all forces which were near, HE lengthened the Stopinder between its third and fourth deflections.
And the Stopinder which HE shortened is between its last deflection and the beginning of a new cycle of its completing process.
As regards the third Stopinder, then changed in its ‘subjective action’ and which is fifth in the general successiveness and is called ‘Harnel-Aoot,’ its disharmony flowed by itself from the change of the two aforementioned Stopinders.
If the completing process of this sacred law flows in conditions, where during its process there are many ‘extraneously-caused-vibrations,’ then all its functioning gives only external results.
Reading the Beelzebub. Dividing the book in seven parts and trying to see how law of seven acts here.
Task of writing the inner state every two hour on daily basis , how does Law of Seven plays role here.
Data , writing down the state we are in every two hour
I am trying to understand Drama. I see that beneath the drama happening around , there is a emotions flowing. Its mostly the emotions which take a twisted turn and leave the impression deep in our conscious and subconscious mind. I am more interested in the change of emotions here. I am sure there is a mathematical equation , which mainly depends upon the past memory , expectation , conditioning and the state of being at the moment. Just want to explore it for 3 weeks.
This task which i am starting however is coming from the fact that i see that i am having problem bearing my own emotions. I started with doing the experiment of 'Bearing negative manifestation of others'. But at the moment i see that if i am able to 'Bear the negative manifestation of myself , ability to bear one own negative manifestation' then it will be more then enough. Also have to keep in mind that there is no suppression in the process. I see that i suppress the emotions which in a way goes subconscious zone of my body emotions. They keep popping up randomly now and then.
Idea is to be aware of the event of the drama happening around and see the emotions flowing through me. The chant of 'no clinging no resisting' might work for me. To be at the moment and wish to do what is right for my being.
Let see how it goes.
Its really fascinating if one is present when the process is happening. When talking to friends , if someone revels a secret or one tells a new things. Some intellectual spots reacts differently , some emotions opens up and one can see the the centers revolving around the energy released.
Funny thing is knowing the theory and expecting something to be happen does not not help. Its the attentiveness of the body mind and emotions which Stand in those stirring situation. However just being there standing and watching the play of forces is just Awesome.
The war must be looked upon as one of those generally catastrophic conditions of life in the midst of which we have to live and work, and seek answers to our questions and doubts.
The mechanism is set in motion and all the spheres begin to rotate and to move along prescribed paths, reproducing in a visual form the laws which govern the movements of the planets. This mechanism reminds you of all you know about the solar system. There is something like this in the rhythm of certain dances. In the strictly defined movements and combinations of the dancers, certain laws are visually reproduced which arc intelligible to those who know them. Such dances are called 'sacred dances.'
Have you ever thought about the fact that all peoples themselves are machines?
When a machine knows itself it is then no longer a machine, at least, not such a machine as it was before. It already begins to be responsible for its actions.
A man is responsible for his action. A machine is not responsible.
In order to do it is necessary to be.
The whole thing, all work on oneself, consists in choosing the influence to which you wish to subject yourself, and actually falling under this influence. And for this it is necessary to know beforehand which influence is the more profitable.
The intelligence of the sun is divine, said G. But the earth can become the same; only, of course, it is not guaranteed and the earth may die having attained nothing.
Have taken the task to see the force present in me at the moment.To verify 'I am Attention'.
26th Feb 2013
Be fearless about inquiring ?
Question : What is Consciousness and Conscience ; what is a role of attention in them ?
Conscience can be related as the Higher emotional center.
Consciousness can be called as the Higher intellectual center.
The Conscience is there in everyone , but again there is level of conscience. The Christian tradition talks about the law of Conscience.Most of the are in build in us , but we don't have access to them.
Everything is Consciousness. The rock metal human being and the chairs around is different magnitude of consciousness.
We should AIM toward the higher level of conscious and objective Consciousness. Unless one has no connection with higher emotion one cant access the Consciousness.
In theory : Theory and Practical are same.
In practical : Theory and Practical are not same.
Be open to be surprise.
Can i see myself without any judgement ?
Inquiry itself in a process of transformation. To accept the fact that I don't know myself and I wish to know myself.
Everything is in a movement of perpetual motion.
Association is an ongoing process in all the centers.
Sensing the body is important. At our level this is the thing to do.
Train the body and the emotion will be trained in between.
Question : In Movement , lack of attention. What to do ?
Its a space where the demand is more and hence can increase the threshold if work enough at the moment.
Stay in front of the lack then fixing it.
What fluctuate is not attention. Its in-attention.
When one knows that one is not attentive , is a moment of attention.
AIM should be to be aware the way i am , no matter what practice i take. Not to change the way i am. To be more and more in the space of awareness , of myself.
Forgetting language of Children
One should not confuse the wire with the electricity. Gurdjieff , Christ are good wires.
28th Feb 2013
I am here and the Subtle energies are here. How can i make connection with them ?
Forgetfulness and Self Remembering are the laws acting on us.
Action is necessary but one needs to be free of it.
Duty Duty Duty from all three centers.
Attention is Labor ?
Attention is Suffering ?
1st March 2013
The only reward you can do to yourself is to see yourself , the way you are.
2nd March 2013
Relaxing more and more. From all the three centers. More relax , more clarity , steadiness and subtle breathing.
Relax and attentive , everywhere.
Listen, its more important then playing instrument.
It seems to me that we can live with attention , intention and impartial life. Then die peacefully with smile.
It seems that this is a commandment for me , by me.
I wonder what is this Sacred Askokin. As mentioned in the BTTHG ( Beelzebub Tales To His Grandson ) it is everywhere in the Universe and is tightly coupled with Abrustdonis and Helkdonis.
Only when a three brained being do the Parktdolg-duty , which is Conscious labor and Intentional suffering , the Askokin will be released. If one is involve in Conscious labor and Intentional Suffering , one create body kesdjan by using the material of Abrustdonis and body of the Soul is been created using material of Helkdonis.
During the process this Askokin gets release , which acts as a food for Moon.If we dont work on ourselves , the Nature has to go through the terrifying process of reciprocal destruction , wars.
What is Askokin in us , how we use Askokin. What shall we do to understand the behavior of Askokin is us ?
In order to understand Askokin , one has to take some exercise to understand what it is in us.
'To bear the unpleasant manifestation of others toward you.'
'Can we see what causes wars inside us ?'
'To love and appreciate the mechanical side in you.'
4th March 2013
Relaxation ; relationship helping the lower force to meet the higher forces.
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of the Wisdom.
Relax ; little by little.
Question : How to prepare for Death ?
Answer : Saint John said : I Die daily.
If we can forgive everyday once , that's more then enough.
To see the manifestation in me , when event occur which i don't like.
To see the manifestation in me , when i encounter unpleasant manifestation of others.
To bear the unpleasant manifestation of other.
To see the energy manifesting in others.
To see the energy manifesting in me, to see the relationship of two energy.
Everything is reciprocal exchange , what is my place here ?
If someone abuses you , at that very moment : How will you die to your past ? Instantly ?
Die to one's mechanization.
Die to one's habits.
Die to one's desires.
Can we Die every moment to receive the new life vibrating ?
From Beelzebub Tales To His Grandson : ‘This custom is at present so widespread there, and the destruction of the existence of beings of various forms for this maleficent purpose has reached such dimensions, that there is already a surplus of the “Sacred Askokin” required from the planet Earth for its former parts, that is to say, a surplus of those vibrations which arise during the sacred process of “Rascooarno” of beings of every exterior form arising and existing on that planet from which the said sacred cosmic arising is required. ‘For the normal formation of the atmosphere of the newly arisen planet Moon, the said surplus of the Sacred Askokin has already begun seriously to hinder the correct exchange of matters between the planet Moon itself and its atmosphere, and the apprehension has already arisen that its atmosphere may in consequence be formed incorrectly and later become an obstacle to the harmonious movement of the whole system Ors, and perhaps again give rise to factors menacing a catastrophe on a greater common-cosmic scale. The Sacred Askokin, exists in general in the Universe chiefly blended with the sacred substances ‘Abrustdonis’ and ‘Helkdonis,’ and hence that this sacred substance Askokin in order to become vivifying for such a maintenance must first be freed from the said sacred substances Abrustdonis and Helkdonis. To tell the truth, my boy, I did not at once clearly understand all that he then said, and it was only later that I came to understand it all clearly, when, during my studies of the fundamental cosmic laws, I learned that these sacred substances Abrustdonis and Helkdonis are just those substances by which the higher being-bodies of three-brained beings, namely, the body Kesdjan and the body of the Soul, are in general formed and perfected; and when I learned that the separation of the sacred Askokin from the said sacred substances proceeds in general when the beings on whatever planet it might be transubstantiate the sacred substances Abrustdonis and Helkdonis in themselves for the forming and perfecting of their higher bodies, by means of conscious labors and intentional sufferings. And so, my dear Hassein, when it appeared that the instinctive need for conscious labor and intentional suffering in order to be able to take in and transmute in themselves the sacred substances Abrustdonis and Helkdonis and thereby to liberate the sacred Askokin for the maintenance of the Moon and Anulios had finally disappeared from the psyche of your favorites, then Great Nature Herself was constrained to adapt Herself to extract this sacred substance by other means, one of which is precisely that periodic terrifying process there of reciprocal destruction.
I wonder what is this Sacred Askokin. As mentioned in the BTTHG ( Beelzebub Tales To His Grandson ) it is everywhere in the Universe and is tightly coupled with Abrustdonis and Helkdonis.
Only when a three brained being do the Parktdolg-duty , which is Conscious labor and Intentional suffering , the Askokin will be released. If one is involve in Conscious labor and Intentional Suffering , one create body kesdjan by using the material of Abrustdonis and body of the Soul is been created using material of Helkdonis. During the process this Askokin gets release , which acts as a food for Moon.
If we dont work on ourselves , the Nature has to go through the terrifying process of reciprocal destruction , wars.
What is Askokin in us , how we use Askokin. What shall we do to understand the behavior of Askokin is us ?
In order to understand Askokin , one has to take some exercise to understand what it is in us.
'To bear the unpleasant manifestation of others toward you.'
Can we see what causes wars inside us ?
I see that the friction between centers create a war in me. Lack of attention , losing the understanding at moments leads to some action which is not appropriate for me in general. The judgement mostly is been taken by one center dominating , which later on is been criticize and hence the mayhem.
I Die Daily - How to die daily ?
I saw the layers of Slavery in me. To struggle there to stay there with my nothingness is to die to the Slavery.
'To love and appreciate the mechanical side in you.'
Did this exercise for few weeks and it was a very good and refreshing exercise for me. Saw that ; at the moment when i am about to do things mechanically there is a force which is automated in me and things happen with that force. Deep down, i see that unless one does not have a counterbalance force or Something which can bypass the mechanical force running inside , there is no hope.
At times just watching this process changes the basic element of the process. Change here means the outcome may or may not be the same as mechanical outcome. It depends upon various factors here. Mostly the level of Seeing.
Once at the moment when i was about to fall for the mechanical action , i stayed at that moment without falling either side. What i saw was truly disturbing and overwhelming. I could see the root cause of the mechanical act and also the reason behind the process. Also the possible outcome if it continue. If i become more conscious at these moment when i am about to act and sense the mechanical urge of doing so , then maybe i will get rid of the mechanical falling in me. The taste of this mechanicality is new for me.
Any event when done many time creates a passage of flow of energy inside us. A pattern is formed which helps the organization to spend less energy. This however is not healthy when not used properly. Or if this process becomes default for us in our daily life.
Was discussing about tagging and un-tagging with Sankalp. Told him that i can not tag a new label , if and only if i am aware of the moment when tagging is happening. My questions was , we can deal with the new object event but what to do with the already tagged objects ?
He shared that once Raviji said that its a viewer who has to be new and fresh in order to see things alive every time. Don't know if we can un-tag things label but we can for sure make an attempt to start afresh everytime even with people i might know.
I remember when there was a time when i asked myself who all i want in my life. Then the questions throw-ed me to my fantasy. What i dream of ? What is the kind of fantasy roams in my mind , unconsciously ? There are zillions of thoughts crossing my mind , but which one if my secret fantasy ?
This gives an immense importance to fantasy. How fantasy is a preliminary part of binding with the object. In order to like or dislike , one need to fantasize about the same. If one likes something , then he imagine he is enjoying its presence. Or if one dislikes something then one dreams of not encountering with them. This constant wanting and not wanting creates a thread between the object and the subject.
This Philokalia text by St Hesychios the Priest : "Just as it is impossible for fire and water to pass through the same pipe together, so it is impossible for sin to enter the heart without first knocking at its door in the form of a fantasy provoked by the devil."
I was amazed how the above line summed up everything i experienced earlier for the same.
If i can see the process of binding , will it help me being free from it ?